Got like 20 jobs, man, I always keep my hands dirty. Shotgun approach! But the recoil makes it hard to stand sturdy. I'll keep pulling stunts, keep my mouth busy barnstorming. People care enough to hate me. That's kind of heartwarming! Stand out. Be edgy. Everybody wants to bevel. On that "worka worka" Pac-Man, get on my level! I'm skipping dinner again. Guess I'll have that for breakfast. Never sleeping, instant scheming, Like a Netflix death wish. Work! I'm in the worst line. Consumed, it's my curse. I'm addicted, the first sign was the first time skipping church chimes to verse rhymes. Adverse times, but I'm back in the saddle. Better back up my mouth or I'll be "all hat and no cattle." There's no vacation, no breaks, no fucking Havasu! Wanna lose friends to get popular?? You can have it, too! Time is running thin so don't just stand with your cock out. Always punching in, but I'm never gonna clock out!

Strapped a GoPro to my No-No's, Documentary-style, But my mojo was a no-show, Face is rojo, from solo sipping SoCo, Throw 'em back 'til everything is slow-mo... OH NO. It's a quarter 'til dawn. Give me more shot and I'll be quarter 'til gone. You're Telling it wrong: dramatical errors. Now you're spelling it wrong: grammatical terrors. Liven up, can't tell if your passive heart has a spark left, or if I oughta bring it back, Jurassic Park. Amber alert. So handsome it hurts. My ass is so fly it's like my pants are on reverse. Ha...not really but nobody understands me. I'm just running my mouth, I'm not trying to win a Grammy. I'm giving more than maximum, like I've got a fuse blown. Here's a sample of what I want on my Tombstone: 'Here lies Brian. Does he know how dope he was? I hope he does. I loved him for his weird phobias.' And if you think I'm living proof that soon the world ends. Save your breath for your inflatable girlfriends. Time to warm it up like "Unique-New York," And I got less practical technique than quirks. And my pick up lines are usually too weak to work That's okay 'cause I prefer girls too geek to twerk I'm shorter and more popular While You got that Luigi flow Dare you to try that shit again, Moichido. Japanesy-flow, I make it look easy though Givin' it to you in a series, like I had my own TV Show. Have you seen me though?! Don't know which episodes next. I'm just here trying to do me like it's clone sex But gimme, gimme, gimme-gimme a record deal Don't have any, any-any, any of that sex appeal What's sexy? Bitches I make my own scales. So don't try to make riches off my coattails. Wind in my boat sails And you're gettin' seasick I'm running full speed You keep up like paraplegics ...That's slowly.

Sitting in a waiting room Had a thought occur to me I'm working overtime and already planning knee surgery. Friends haven't heard from me Again I'm hospitalized. This time it's stress migraines behind my eyes. Big surprise, my schedule's unwise, When I finally checked out, I realized sometimes, that What you need is a nosebleed when full speed To knock you down a peg or two before you can proceed Something big enough to knock you back down to Earth. Appreciate your life, Kick back until you've found your worth. To tear my ACL, it only took a second Then a full 6 months just trying to correct it. Exercising on an off day Exactly how I straight tore it Finally got some free time but I still had to pay for it. Hopefully I learn something, upon closer inspection of my life on stand by from the nose-bleed section, Perfection obsession, from myself I need protection, 'cause I'll end up back here if I don't head a new direction. Everything is imperative! Night owl. Early riser. What did I really miss, when I was strapped in that immobilizer? Nothing. Except peeing by myself. Plus getting sponge baths has an impact on mental health. Everything is so important when you're talking fast. But you get to know your friends, when you're stuck in a walking cast. On the couch all day receiving good cooking Knee looks like a grapefruit And I'm still freaking good lookin! As soon as she notice me, you're getting no kiss. Lens your girlfriend, I pull her focus. Calm down. Don't you know what a joke is? Or how many painkillers I took when I wrote this. Or how many docs I overpaid to go inside of me. They've got themselves a foul empire: Duck Dynasty. I smell like Si in heat. All jokes aside, I'm beat. I wanna bathe alone, to Stop me Call the Coast Guard. Fuck a maybach I just wanna play Mozart In a brace with my sweaty toes keeping that steady flow until I make it big I'm living off of spaghettios No parties with my bros. That shit costs money. And now I'm broke as a joke but I'm a lot less funny. I guess that tends to happen when you snap one of your knees and we all know money doesn't grow on trees, but please, I'd settle for a money bush Since my funds tail off like a bunny's tush. Give 'em a push, make 'em laugh, make em think. Come on over to my crippled lap you're never too old for spankins. Wink. Can't even take a drink Hopped up on this vicodin Finally got some free time Maybe my friends will like me then? I should start inviting them, but I gotta get this writing in, I call to pick them up then forget to take 'em like vitamins. Can he rap while handicapped? Take it back, bitch. You're getting smacked or I'll stuff your ass in my fannypack Fancy that, I make it hard to function. My life is like my ACL It needs reconstruction.

Last chance was the fattest. How long 'til you change your status? How long 'til you to forget my habits? How long will it take to refill your mattress? We were up in the air...Why did I think you'd remain mine? Hours together while we were a toss up...that's hang time. Knew the way out, drew the blueprint. You made me stupid. Couldn't do it. My point of view is Lied to myself even more than you did. Oooh, sexy. Don't know what possessed me. Do Me Wrong, girl, Mae West me. Already gave him the guest keys? Sorry, just checking your mate, like a chess piece "Oh, pardon him, he's just scared that he has to start again. He'll be up all night; House of Cards again He'll be old and alone; House of Cardigans." Who you are depends..and that's a bad sign. Now I'm tired of playing, like the back nine. Just a heartbreak, but don't mistake that for a flatline. Wasn't our time, wrong TARDIS You're a Star Trek painter, Khan Artist. Make nerdy jokes so I feel the smartest. but you laughed first so I'll laugh the hardest. Tried so hard to please ya, but I just spoiled you rotten. Now it's my turn for amnesia. This is what it feels like to be forgotten

Sorry in advance for forgetting your birthday And here's your gift delivered in the worst way You're like a cute little sis, Lannister, Cersei. I'm Rowling you, JK. What did that nerd say? Oops, now they all think you're incestual. Nevermind them, Just keep ballin' like testicles. When opportunity comes with a knocking force. Take it, 'cause it's rare as shit from a rocking horse. I gets down with my bad self Never gonna sleep I guess that's good for my bad health Girls don't even ask how their man felt, Before they go and whip me around like a fan belt My head spins, Quick fast, with whiplash There's no relaxing Til I'm famous. Jett Jackson But what do I know about the fame biz? Be your Hugh Jackman, I'll show you what Lame Is (Les Mis). Girrllll, I'm kinda satisfying. Self-loathing when he raps? Oh, Classic Brian. I rhyme lines for the punches, Rap for the hits. If ignorance is bliss, why aren't I happy as shit? Sick of this crap, think I need a de-tox Running on tracks, you can call me a beat jock Impress girls with my lips, Don't mean beat box When the beat drops, I'm taking like 3 shots. Okaaayyyy! I'm supercharged now. Whiter than ever, like I'm super-starched out. Bloody fantastic, (w)rapping with no gauze. Stop an enemy by making some faux pas. (Foe pause) Spice it up: cinnamon it Commit a sin a minute No repenting, Independent Spitting with no pennant. Getting sick of working these splits, bananas. Down with Pussy Flannel, It's the cat's pajamas.

I don't feel like drinking. Have not yet formed a habit. Okay, fuck it, man, I'm thirsty! Honey Jack then, if you have it. Grab it, slam it back, it's tragic Growing up, life loses magic. I still go hard, never flaccid. Especially when I look at that chick! Ha. You look embarrassed. Really? I ain't said much. Your face is getting redder like a Niacin flush. "Brian, you're trying too much!" "Don't you know you're Caucasian?" "I thought that you were smart enough to get a real occupation?" Okay, don't care what your ass thought. Go back to your desk job. Come to think of it, I could use a mascot. Waiting to blast off since the moment I wrote this. Could be three naked ladies with me now, and I wouldn't even notice. I'm so focused, but this rapping thing is how I destress. Never playing games, Almost quit school 'cause of recess. I'm the best! (For White, Missouri boys rapping) I don't know what I'll say next I just sit back and let it happen. Oh no! Christian girl's in a crisis 'cause, look, I just cant' date girls that wear torture devices, okay? Y'all looking at me like, "Well said!" Damn right, my mouth is so good like I'm giving myself head. Deep breaths, you need to calm down. This is carousel sex, I'm just fucking around. Deep breaths, you need to calm down. This is carousel sex, I'm just fucking around. "Wait, how the fuck you from Missour-ah? You don't even have an accent!" "Here's a test: did you vote for a Black President???" God damn, you're so thought-challenged it hurts. I'm rich in irony, but my account is no balance alert. Challengers from all sides, I stay busy fighting them. I don't know the rules yet. I'm still busy rewriting them. You flirt when I have a girlfriend, but you'd never touch me solo. Came at me like a whirlwind. ...Pidgeotto? No Dodo, but I'll say some silly things when I go off. Then call your dick 'Bill Gates'. May be rich but micro, soft. Say you're over me? Please... You'd rather be under me. 'Cause I'm from Missouri and 'misery loves company', Other guys, well, they run from me. They're all lightning, no thunder, see? Wanna take all my credit? Well what the fuck have you done for me? I'm a workaholic. And I'm working for free. A 120-hour work week, is nothing to me. Agreed! I'll never be a celebrity. Inevitably, I'll be dead to thee. Then preferably you'll never see my ass on your social network feed. But, 'til then, I need to calm down. This is carousel sex, and I'm just fucking around. Right?

'Airborne' every morning like it's some kind of breakfast food. Forget to sleep. Forget to eat. Told you that I'm kind of a reckless dude. Stressed out and nonchalant. I'm exhausted but I'm restless, too. It's not that you're not pretty, I'm just kind of in a sexless mood. Feel best when I'm next to you, Feels like I've got way way less to prove, Can't sit through a phone call, gotta move. Got my pacing down, Now I'm in a groove ...or is that a rut? Am I serious? I think I am, Very much so, somewhat Timelapse, jump-cut through the numb nuts and dumb butts until I met you. Better trust my guts. Did I give up on you too soon? Only think about you like once in a blue moon. Plus the orange, and the whites, and the reds And any other lunar colors passing through my head. Whiskey nightly, Is that how I'm supposed to be? If there are people near me, Does it count as drinking socially? Posting spree, my prose complete, Make sure it all rhymes, then compose a beat. Am I supposed to brag rap boastfully? The people close to me, they mean the most to me. So I'll write about them, myself included 3:00am, balcony, secluded from the real world, 'cause I get stressed out Life's a game, then I just won't dress out. How do you suppress shouts? More importantly How do you suppress doubt? ...'cause I'm uptight. All this writing keeps me up nights. Life is too short, kinda like my height. Everyone's afraid to fly kites, right? Or is that just me? I'm not the only one afraid to fly kites, right? Or is that just me? 'Airborne' every morning like it's some kind of breakfast food. Forget to sleep. Forget to eat. Told you that I'm kind of a reckless dude. Stressed out and nonchalant. I'm exhausted but I'm restless, too. It's not that you're not pretty, I'm just kind of in a sexless mood. Seriously though, kites I won't fly them. If stranded on a breezy island. I think it's a control thing. Terrified to unspool the whole thing. How's that for a metaphor? What if I'm just the guy she settled for? Am I good enough? Did I match my bluff? Rough patch coming up, teleport. To a safe zone. Gotta cool off No need to be emotional Need some stress? Come to me. I got a rollercoaster-full. Time to ride it out. no time to pout "Nobody understands what he rhymes about" No, I don't break hearts, just tear 'em out. Why am I the only one they care about? Now I'm thinking deep, Seen the sun rise twice without a wink of sleep. Forget to keep from going off the deep end, Always out. How the hell do I sleep in? Creepin' closer to graduation Counting down to my detonation. Two parts hope, one desperation, with just a pinch of sleep deprivation. Shake well. Break the spell. Tell me I'm perfect, won't take it well. Shake well. Break the spell. Tell me I'm average, won't take it well. 'Airborne' every morning like it's some kind of breakfast food. Forget to sleep. Forget to eat. Told you that I'm kind of a reckless dude. Stressed out and nonchalant. I'm exhausted but I'm restless, too. It's not that you're not pretty, I'm just kind of in a sexless mood.

My best friends tell me relax, for goodness sake. But my head gets so heavy, my back's about to break, Want to try my hand at everything, putting everything at stake. Haven't slept in a while, so I have to dream while I'm awake. Nobody's gonna hear this, it's just too easy to miss it I'm such a small statistic, Look I'm just realistic, That Thirty-Thousand Dollar Thesis directorial vision, Wanna spend that much, quit bitchin' about the cost of tuition. Listen, here's my admission: I'm just a nerdy. white. loser. Amateur writer who thinks he's good with computers. I'm a straight shooter who got my first pro rejection at 21 Got over that and now I'm on to the next one. Should I push through as the number of people talking smack worsens? Or stick to polka music and "leave the rapping to black persons?" Laugh like Hyenas, leave me scarred, without my pride it seems It's obvious they're James Earl Jonesin' for some Lion King. Design a dream, accomplish it. to their astonishment. And if they try to tear down your success, Don't acknowledge it. High strung like a crossbow High speed like a bullet. I got a loaded God-complex, so cock it and pull it. And put your money where your mouth is, I'm salivating cash. What you're puking out is garbage So I'm taking out the trash. You were overhyped, Before I even pressed play If that song was your best single, Single is what you'll stay. People say, they're proud of me, they say I'm a go-getter. Try to work myself to death, even though I should know better. Man, I'll never wrap it up, like some Jewish parents on Christmas, Married to this business, treat my girlfriend like a mistress. Wait a minute, what is this? A tribute to Brian's blasphemy? "Have you found a church yet?" Is all they find to ask of me. Impossible to tell them that I'm just not believin' So if you don't mind, let Jesus know I'm working on weekends. I'm a heathen but if you're concerned about my soul, well stop. Hotel in Hades, bet your ass I'll be the bellhop. Well-stocked with ideas but with money don't pretend to be I'm just trying my hardest. Hope my friends recommended me. There tend to be big risks with dreams like mine. Check back in with me in 5 years. I'll be just fine. From Missouri to Cali, Oh the weather's rough in the Valley? Take a look at where I grew up, I'm from tornado alley.

Can't teach an old dog some young tricks I can have you doing backbends and front flips So you better jump ship, from all of that dumb shit I'll be making you come quick, with nothing but my tongue tip. Whoooo you'd like that wouldn't you Clogging up that pussy like a kitty cat in wooden shoes. And when I dip inside Head first like a slip n slide, Gripping while I flip and ride Curly brunette, my kryptonite. Uhh..come to my crib tonight. You look so sexy. River camp on the Mississippi, yeah so, let's meet. Doesn't really matter if you're straight, bi, or lesbi. Nobody turns down sex on a jetski. Fuck honey, come get a taste test. Fuck money, Siri find me paychecks. (FINDING GAY SEX) No not gay sex! Fuck Siri, raw no latex. Okay, I made it up, none of that's true. So I guess I'm giving up. Intimidated by you. Truth time: I'm too polite, could never be sleazy Just trying to impress you and make it look easy. I'm 5'6. 175. Square-shaped and blocky, like I'm built with LEGOS inside. I just need a friend, or maybe lover. Scared to say it, taking cover. I just need your name and number Or I never may recover. Well that's it. Cover's blown. Stepped outside my comfort zone. Let's start again without creepy sexual undertones. Now you know my dimensions, and you know my intentions. Not trying to get laid, let's just hit up Country Kitchen. 'Cause that's the only place open at this time of night. Never had pancakes this late?! You ain't been doing it right! Drive down to the riverbank, moon shining so bright. Make bouquets out of cattails, dodging mosquito bites. Wait. Did I just puff my chest a bit? Boy do I seem desperate. To impress this suggestive Midwestern chick. Forgot this humidity, says she can teach me Got me anxious, shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds. That's my grandpa's line. But that's my nervous tic. Shiver from this attention. Don't think I'm deserving it. Inflatable pool rafts in the middle of grassy fields Get used to it, 'cause that's how my classy feels. Afloat in a sea of grass, talking 'bout our lives. Lost for hours chatting, alone with the fireflies. Exploding floating constellations begging us to dance with them. Know it's cheesy, but will you still take a chance with him? Yeah I know I'm cheesy. Will you still take a chance with me?

I'm just here for a good reception; After parties are hokey They go hard as Thor's hammer. I just want to stay Loki. I haven't burned out yet. Well, isn't that great? I'm just moving, pushing, working overtime at a flat rate. Used to relax hitting golf balls into barn doors Honestly, my biggest fear was to par the course. Down to albatross, no matter the weather You know I take pleasure in being of a different feather. But how do you stand out in millions of people? If my hometown's full of hay stacks, I'm just trying to be the needle That one in a million, but do you remember when success Was measured by holding hands with girls during recess? I failed then too, but acted and fronted. And soon everybody assumed I was the one that they wanted. Does that work when I'm older? Feels like that's what I'm doing. I'll pull up in a rental Ferrari At my high school reunion, like... Do you remember me? Do you remember me? Am I living the dream, or do I just pretend to be? People that were enemies, now seem to be into me. Guess I tricked 'em all but was it really worth the rental fee? Meant to lead, finally got a Passport And keep that Whatever It Takes coin on my dashboard I'm fun for any age Try anything: Nicky Cage. And I won't stop 'til I get my own freaking Wiki page CHORUS (x2) People contact me like we're randomly family. Never thought anybody could stand to be a fan of me. Can it be? Is this what I planned to be? Rainforest rapping. I'm just reaching for the canopy. 'Cause that's where the light is. Wanna be something different than just a silly white kid mimicking rap, pretending I'm black, pretending that I'm spending some stacks. How different is that? Now bring it back. Describe my hometown? Covered in corn stalks. Gets hot as than two rats screwing in wool socks. Rains like cows pissing on flat rocks. That's how my dad talks. Life's a sandbox And I'm just out here building castles in the rain. Man it's rough, It's annoying, It's a hassle, it's a pain. It's a struggle but it's worth it. Every muscle, don't conserve it. Need to hustle, you deserve it. It's a puzzle, no one's perfect, but For a while I was a front-of the bus nerd, 'til I decided to live my life like a cuss word. 'Cause cuss words are just normal words with passion. They intimidate and therefore get thrown out of fashion So I'm down like a pillow I can't afford. Down like I'm strapped to the end of a bungee cord. Down like my friends who have always stood next to me. And down like my critics expect of my trajectory. They're all like 'Excuse me if I'm being frank, feller. But when you fail you can come home and be a bank teller.' ...Is that supposed to be encouraging?! From the Flower City, but they don't think I'll be flourishing. Fuck your disappointment, Let me make a mistake. The only one with balls big enough to leave the state from my graduating class. I'm accelerating fast and I'm looking toward the future while they celebrate the past. CHORUS (x2) People contact me like we're randomly family. Never thought anybody could stand to be a fan of me. Can it be? Is this what I planned to be? Rainforest rapping. I'm just reaching for the canopy. 'Cause that's where the light is. Wanna be something different than just a silly white kid trying to rap, pretending I'm black, pretending that I'm spending some stacks. How different is that? Now bring it back.