I don't feel like drinking.
Have not yet formed a habit.
Okay, fuck it, man, I'm thirsty!
Honey Jack then, if you have it.
Grab it, slam it back, it's tragic
Growing up, life loses magic.
I still go hard, never flaccid.
Especially when I look at that chick!
Ha. You look embarrassed.
Really? I ain't said much.
Your face is getting redder like a Niacin flush.
"Brian, you're trying too much!"
"Don't you know you're Caucasian?"
"I thought that you were smart enough
to get a real occupation?"
Okay, don't care what your ass thought.
Go back to your desk job.
Come to think of it, I could use a mascot.
Waiting to blast off since the moment I wrote this.
Could be three naked ladies with me now,
and I wouldn't even notice.
I'm so focused, but this rapping thing
is how I destress.
Never playing games,
Almost quit school 'cause of recess.
I'm the best! (For White, Missouri boys rapping)
I don't know what I'll say next
I just sit back and let it happen.
Oh no! Christian girl's in a crisis
'cause, look, I just cant' date girls that wear torture devices, okay?
Y'all looking at me like, "Well said!"
Damn right, my mouth is so good
like I'm giving myself head.

Deep breaths, you need to calm down.
This is carousel sex, I'm just fucking around.
Deep breaths, you need to calm down.
This is carousel sex, I'm just fucking around.

"Wait, how the fuck you from Missour-ah?
You don't even have an accent!"
"Here's a test: did you vote for a Black President???"
God damn, you're so thought-challenged it hurts.
I'm rich in irony, but my account
is no balance alert.
Challengers from all sides,
I stay busy fighting them.
I don't know the rules yet.
I'm still busy rewriting them.
You flirt when I have a girlfriend,
but you'd never touch me solo.
Came at me like a whirlwind.
...Pidgeotto?
No Dodo, but I'll say some silly things when I go off.
Then call your dick 'Bill Gates'.
May be rich but micro, soft.
Say you're over me? Please...
You'd rather be under me.
'Cause I'm from Missouri and 'misery loves company',
Other guys, well, they run from me.
They're all lightning, no thunder, see?
Wanna take all my credit?
Well what the fuck have you done for me?
I'm a workaholic. And I'm working for free.
A 120-hour work week, is nothing to me.
Agreed! I'll never be a celebrity.
Inevitably, I'll be dead to thee.
Then preferably you'll never see
my ass on your social network feed.

But, 'til then, I need to calm down.
This is carousel sex, and I'm just fucking around.
Right?