Can't teach an old dog some young tricks
I can have you doing backbends and front flips
So you better jump ship, from all of that dumb shit
I'll be making you come quick, with nothing but my tongue tip.
Whoooo you'd like that wouldn't you
Clogging up that pussy like a kitty cat in wooden shoes.
And when I dip inside
Head first like a slip n slide,
Gripping while I flip and ride
Curly brunette, my kryptonite.
Uhh..come to my crib tonight. You look so sexy.
River camp on the Mississippi, yeah so, let's meet.
Doesn't really matter if you're straight, bi, or lesbi.
Nobody turns down sex on a jetski.
Fuck honey, come get a taste test.
Fuck money, Siri find me paychecks.
(FINDING GAY SEX) No not gay sex!
Fuck Siri, raw no latex.
Okay, I made it up, none of that's true.
So I guess I'm giving up. Intimidated by you.
Truth time: I'm too polite, could never be sleazy
Just trying to impress you and make it look easy.
I'm 5'6. 175.
Square-shaped and blocky, like I'm built with LEGOS inside.
I just need a friend, or maybe lover.
Scared to say it, taking cover.
I just need your name and number
Or I never may recover.
Well that's it. Cover's blown.
Stepped outside my comfort zone.
Let's start again without creepy sexual undertones.
Now you know my dimensions, and you know my intentions.
Not trying to get laid, let's just hit up Country Kitchen.
'Cause that's the only place open at this time of night.
Never had pancakes this late?! You ain't been doing it right!
Drive down to the riverbank, moon shining so bright.
Make bouquets out of cattails, dodging mosquito bites.
Wait. Did I just puff my chest a bit?
Boy do I seem desperate.
To impress this suggestive Midwestern chick.
Forgot this humidity, says she can teach me
Got me anxious, shaking like a dog shitting peach seeds.
That's my grandpa's line. But that's my nervous tic.
Shiver from this attention. Don't think I'm deserving it.
Inflatable pool rafts in the middle of grassy fields
Get used to it, 'cause that's how my classy feels.
Afloat in a sea of grass, talking 'bout our lives.
Lost for hours chatting, alone with the fireflies.
Exploding floating constellations begging us to dance with them.
Know it's cheesy, but will you still take a chance with him?

Yeah I know I'm cheesy. Will you still take a chance with me?